Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
