New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize