I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize