Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
