I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize