I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.