a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.