i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.