I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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