I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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