Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
