If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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