I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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