walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's blow job season.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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