I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We were destined to go to rehab together
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I supernannyed him into submission
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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