She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
