Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
