so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
