i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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