i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
