I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
