I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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