quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
