Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
