Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
God, I missed his penis.
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