I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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