lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
