I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drake has all the answers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
