You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize