it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
