What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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