I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
