They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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