after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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