update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
