I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
