I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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