I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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