What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
