just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
