Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
