I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
