just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
