My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
