I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you win again, gameday.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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