I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
