I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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