if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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