I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
