I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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