Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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