Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
