I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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